I am afraid of writing stories.

as I reveal my character’s flaws, my own flaws are revealed. when my character changes, I am sharing my own desires

this vulnerability is an act of bravery, especially when there are skeletons in the closet. stuff that I am not comfortable sitting with.

the thing is.. those skeletons are so normal. revealing my own flaws makes my characters real. revealing my own desires and fears can make the reader feel seen! showing a character break through their limitations can actually help people (and myself) grow.

methods:

so here’s what I’m doing with my story writing

journaling with a focus on my past. coming to terms with my own life story including the painful stuff.

writing more and seeing what happens. just spending more time making stories

focusing on themes: when I start with a random character name in a random situation, the story slowly emerges and eventually a theme shows itself, but focusing on the theme from the start can ground the story in a meaning.

example

I made an animation of a Goblin Pirate Captain searching a ship for a missing prisoner. but that is just some colourful noise, the characters didn’t have heart. imagine being an escaped prisoner on a ship full of monsters. wanting to hide but with nowhere to run.

I needed to find a story from my life when I was scared and hiding so I did some journaling and I remembered being a kid on the recess yard and feeling scared. I didn’t have friends and just wanted to hide. I decided to social climb, purposefully befriending cool kids until I was friends with the coolest kid in school. He lived in a mega mansion and had everything.. I remember he told me he danced with seven girls at a school dance.

as I got close to him I found out he was a pretty mean kid. Whenever he had friends over, someone would cry. I learned to be fast and funny and pay attention to the cool kid so I knew how not be the loser.

one time I saw another kid get really upset, I forget what happened but his face was red and everyone was laughing and it just stung. I was in the cool club and I didn’t like it. it hurt. I didn’t go back.

I wish I could go back and tell myself not to waste my time social climbing. I didn’t need to prove anything.

so perhaps the character in my story, the escapee hiding on the boat can get caught. but then one of the other monsters stands up and says “I’m sick of this culture of fear. I’m the captain now and we’re gonna make sure everyone has fun and feels safe.”

I just wrote an episode of the show Our Flag Means Death! A pirate story rooted in outcasts banding together to create a found family.

embrace the cringe

This story is a bit of a anti-bullying ad but it’s true.
good stories are full of tropes and emotional beats that have been done a trillion times before but the truth doesn’t need to be new. it is an eternal thing emerging in new places.

fertilizer

in summary, looking inwards and dredging up the shit from my past makes better manure for the flowers to grow.

revealing self and exploring breakthroughs or changes in self allows the story to really blossom.