I had this dream about my past - how my family started and worked and built something. I woke up feeling more awake than I have in some time.

There’s something beautiful about seeing the past and feeling connected to it.

This dream gave me a positive connection to the past and from that perspective I could see how much pain I’ve been in, feeling disconnected and watching rent rise and the world seem to fall apart. Acknowledging this pain and sadness gives me clarity and calm and ironically, hope for the future.

Suddenly I feel present. I feel clarity on my current situation.

I can see that I’ve been using social media and audiobooks to soothe my anxiety, just showing up to my art practice and relationship. Just showing up in my life.

I need to be at the helm of the ship, to steer and be aware of the big picture. I’m the captain of my life.