101. inspiration keeps coming

as a kid I was terrified that I would stop being myself. one day I would become normal and lose the spark that made me

growing older I did change. You have days where you are bored or exhausted or too much “fun” and unhealthy with drinking or joking at the wrong time.

these days can evoke a feeling of shame and loss. “I’m losing the thing that made me special” I think, or “the best is behind me.”

These thoughts feel true but then another day comes. And another. And they keep coming! I keep changing in little ways and I come to realize that there is no ideal self that I must live up to. It’s just me. No matter what I do, I remain me.

Surprisingly the moments when I tried to hold onto my past identity actually were moments of disconnection. It is ok to let go and flow. To be open and changable is a key part of who I am (irony alert!)

Sooo it has been helpful after 101 blog posts to understand that self is impermanent. let go of an attachment of how you should be and the fear that you will die by changing.

you will live by changing!

So just observe the world around and within you. listen when your body is tired. love people who give it back. care when you can. you’ll find that the inspiration doesn’t end

I have a great deal of gratitude for how my life has been going and lots of pride for my work. There is so much ahead!

more validators for the site, new work for clients, new grants. maybe a job I don’t expect? it can be hard but it feels good to let go of attachment and embrace this feeling of flow